I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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