You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
