Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
