i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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