I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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