party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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