I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish there were birth control emojis
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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