Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
