i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
