We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
