the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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