i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
