Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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