Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have fence marks all over my body
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
