We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize