What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
