So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
