I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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