That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
