i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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