So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize