i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
