you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
