so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
