I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
love makes seman taste better
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
