You can't special order awesome
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
