I just threw up on my dentist
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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