Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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