Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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