I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
