he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
