Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
NoShamevember. You game?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
