im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
