yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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