yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
