hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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