it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
