i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
