i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
