Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
