I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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