im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
