Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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