Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
