Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
