Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
