nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
home. puking in laundry basket.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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