dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
