Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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