Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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