well I can't set my house on fire every night
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize