I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
