Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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