does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize