I cut my penus on the lid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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