in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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