well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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