we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
