So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize