You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
