remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
