we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
