i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
