I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
