my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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